Your Worldwide Bar Hopping Guide
Seven's Top Ten Thailand Newbie Tips
by Bangkok Seven
First things First
Hello again, long time no see. I’m Seven. I live the dream in case you can’t. Behold the next installment of Seven’s Top Ten Tips. It’s a doozy. Thailand is many things to many people. It’s got gorgeous beaches, a rich culture, and a population of kind, delightful people. And, it’s both a playground for those seeking adult pleasures and a hunting ground for men hoping to find a lifelong companion. Which makes for an eclectic mix of wide-eyed foreigners frantically searching for what will fill the empty space within. For those in the latter group, who want more than anything to find “the one” and have come to this glorious country to do that, here’s a short list of tips to maybe hopefully keep you from going off the rails. Tips one through six focus on the topic of a Thai wife, seven through ten on a girlfriend.
Smiling Connect Four Master
Bangla Road Bar - Phuket
#1 Go Slow
Many men, mostly retirees, though there are always exceptions to the rule—come to Thailand to find a wife. They’ve heard that Thai women are less picky about aesthetics, and no woman in their home country will pay them the time of day, so they embark on an epic quest to land a gal in the Land of Smiles. And a lot of the time, it works out. But there’s a lot to consider. For this reason, it’s important to take your time. Don’t wed the first girl to pay attention to you, or the first one to agree to a second date. For some, there might be a sense of urgency, as if no other woman but this woman will show interest. That’s not the case—at least, not here. Take a deep breath, be patient, and move slowly. Even if it means leaving and coming back a few times. There’s no need to hurry, Thailand isn’t going anywhere, and it’s filled to the brim with sweet, lovely women.
#2 Be wary without being suspicious
Yes, some Thai women are only after your money. But if you regard every woman as though they’re just waiting to pick your pocket, you’ll end up looking like a jerk and never get past square one. Don’t come off as untrusting, but don’t behave like a dupe, either. Find the middle ground. And if a girl brings up money, don’t automatically assume she’s only after that one thing. Thai girls are after money because their families are large and the offspring are charged with caring for their elderly parents, as well as their own children. Thus, money is a justifiable concern. Find out if marrying her means supporting her extended family, and discern whether or not you can afford to do that.
#3 Farang Style
Your married life will be Western, not Thai. Thai men are typically not ideal husbands. They cheat, they’re sometimes cruel to their women and they’re often lazy, all of which is attributable to the patriarchal society in Thailand. But your Thai wife will expect you to treat her like you would a Farang wife. That’s why she married you. So no polygamy, and no misogyny.
#4 Thai Style
Your married life will be Thai—not Western. At the same time that she expects you to behave like a Western husband, she will expect to remain completely “Thai.” Be ready to embrace all the customs, cultural norms, and quirks belonging to Thai women. While it seems like tips three and four contradict each other, they’re symbiotic in the way that all women on the planet are walking contradictions.
#5 Home and Away
Make sure she wants to live where you want to live. Some women will expect you to relocate to Thailand permanently, so she can remain close to her family (and so you can take care of all of them as well as for her). Some will expect to be taken back to your native country to live how you live when you’re there. This should be a topic you discuss at length and come to an agreement about before you put the ring on her finger.
#6 Break a Leg
If you give your Thai wife an excuse to stab you, she probably will. Thais are very emotionally explosive when it comes to infidelity (part of the Thai double standard explained in a different Top 10 list), and while a girlfriend might merely get angry, a wife could turn downright homicidal. And in her estimation, and in the eyes of all of her friends and relatives, she’ll be justified. So if you cheat on your Thai wife, do it in Cambodia or Hong Kong or somewhere she can never find out, or risk waking up one night to the sight of her holding a butcher knife above your chest.
#7 Same Same but Different
Your girlfriend has already met many farang, and what she’s learned from those experiences is, you lie and you cheat. And all of her Thai boyfriends cheated on her as well. So if you want to have a Thai girlfriend, realize and accept ahead of time that she will never ever trust you.
#8 Know the Score
Most women in Thailand are NOT bar girls. The notion that you can get off the plane, quote a price to the first woman you see, and take her to your hotel room is a myth and an insult. The majority of Thai women are straight-laced, conservative, traditional, and demand respect. In fact, even bar girls are worthy of respect. I’ve known bar girls that married one of their customers, settled down, and became wonderful wives. You can’t tell from meeting a girl what she’s really like deep down, so suspend all prejudgments and commitments regarding your girl until you’ve really taken the time to know her.
Busy Pattaya Scene
Soi Yodsak aka Soi 6, Pattaya
What's next..
To read the the full blog and Seven's other two top tips as well as more videos and pictures, head over to Seven's Substack bangkokseven.substack.com and in particular Seven's full blog "Seven's Top 10 List: Finding a Thai Wife or Girlfriend"
Over on Seven's website, https://bangkokseven.com, there are also more blogs like this, so go check them out.
Too lazy to read?
Seven's Love at First Flight- Discussion with BKK7
Coming Soon!
Check out Seven's Substack @ https://bangkokseven.substack.com/
